a woman went to the doctors...

a woman went to the doctors with a pair of black eyes and said doctor, doctor, my boyfriend keeps coming home from the pub drunk and every time he does, we get into a fight and it ends up with him beating up on me

the doctor sighed and reached into the bottom draw of his expansive desk, producing a lollipop I have just the solution, he said next time he comes home drunk from the pub, take this, pop it in your mouth and suck hard on it

Will that help? she asked

Never fails said the doctor

So, away she went back home, clutching the lollipop and a chest-full of worries

Two weeks later, she reappeared in the doctor's surgery, completely free of black eyes and bruising and said thank you doctor!

Don't mention it, replied the physician I thought keeping your fucking mouth shut might help